Sta.sh
Theme
Total prizes reach 1000 
!!!! 
But of course there are always the rules......
Please please please fave the journal!
Make another journal about this giveaway and provide a link of that journal in the comments (this will help spread the word about this giveaway)
this journal 
Rules
Should be about School Times!
oints:
, comment and watch!
You know I'm not too good with this kind of stuff, nor I've never been. But I'm willing to try and learn, to get better. To show my feelings; to show how much I really care about you. I haven't expressed my feelings for you enough with the things I do and say. I feel awkward easily, and I guess I just think you'd feel like I'm being pushy if I say too much. All the time when we're talking, I feel like saying so many things I don't know what to say, so I tend to go with the most simple option; ''Ah, I'm hungry''.
...sorry about that. Even though I do say little, yet important things every now and then, I know you deserve more and better. I'm lucky to have you even in my life. So, aside from just throwing few little words and poor perverted jokes at you, I decided to write a bunch of those words and my thoughts for you. I try to keep the jokes away from this. ...I try.
And why not to let everyone see this (heh), sorry for using your journals like this (...when you're sleeping without a clue of this). [I hope you don't mind, I wanted to make a custom box for you at first but this ended up being way too long for one.. or two
'' eh, you can delete this when you've read this if you want to l'D ]Dear god (says the atheist), I don't even know what to write and how to start. So I'll do the cliche thing and go back to the beginning. ...so...
Ever since I first talked to you I found you as an interesting person. The more we talked, the more... attractive I found you.
At first I thought that I'm just curious and eager to befriend you, as you were (and still are) so kind, funny and caring of everyone around you. An amazing person.
When all the problems first started, I didn't know you too well yet, but I felt a huge need and urge to help and protect you; I wanted to be someone who you could rely on and who'd help you to get up and stand when you fell. As you met problems and troubles again and again, I wanted to help you even more. I pushed my own problems aside to be there for you, to speak for you and to help you smile more.
Even when I was in hospital in such condition I couldn't even eat or walk for several days, I spent as much time on computer as I could to make sure nothing bad happened, covering your back, and if something happened, I'd comfort you.
You know how dangerous stress can be for me. But I knew I could cope with it if what I did was for you. At some point, I didn't even care. I knew you'd deserve better, so I was and still am ready to sacrifice a lot for your own best.
I guess my feelings for you grew stronger, nearly too strong for me to handle, during those times I put my own health on the line.
After all the huge drama, a little war and a little more drama, I still kept it all to myself. I just wanted to see you keep living with your life, as everything seemed good again (even though I nagged about certain things again), and be close to you to make sure you would remain being happy. I had to keep pushing my problems and feelings aside again, even though I every now and then needed a person to talk to to get rid of some stress. Luckily these... certain persons were willing to listen, as I whined about my feelings I didn't even fully recognize yet.
My first thoughts when I was understanding my own feelings...
I don't want to be in love. I'm not worthy enough, I'll just trouble him. I'll just cause problems. I always make everything worse.
At moments, I felt desperate, pitiful and weak. Paranoid of myself. I was nothing but a fool and idiot for not being able to just throw away all that I felt for you.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried a lot at some point. I didn't want to hurt you with my feelings, but keeping it to myself and talking about it with only few people hurt me. I thought, I deserve the pain, you've had to handle way too much already. So I remained silent and kept being just a friend for you. Tried to help you and make you feel better as you met misfortunes again.
Shortly after that few things happened, and when I was talking with you and few others', our Cupid copy-pasted and sent me that convo I had had with her about you (when I had ended up describing my feelings a little). It struck me immediately; ''no fucking way, she isn't sending that to him''.
And you know the rest of it.
Now, after that... possibly meaningless, boring and way too long review of the past, I'd like to write a little about you, and what I love in you. I love to think about you, so why wouldn't I write about my thoughts too?
No, I'm not going to say you're a perfect, flawless, god-like person. You too have your flaws, and you tend to exaggerate them. You bash yourself for the flaws you have, but me... I love your flaws. Everything in you is worth valuing, liking and loving, and your 'negative' traits don't differ from that.
When I scold you for something, I don't want you to change. When I ask you to do some things in a different way, I just want to help you to find a way that doesn't give you stress, or won't make you feel bad. I want to help you to be happy. I wish I'm able to make you as happy as you deserve to be.
I love that how eager you sometimes are when you talk with me. How you show your feelings. I love the things you say to express your love. You call yourself clingy because of all that, but you make me feel important when you're throwing your lovely feelings everywhere. It really makes me feel happy ♥ I wish I could express my feelings as well as you can.
I love that, when you think I think you're being annoying, when I'm actually happy you can be as you are. I love the way you are.
I love that how you try to take care of everything and make sure everyone is fine. Even when you're mad because of someone or something.
How you're working on something all the time, yet you say you're lazy.
You're a better person than I am, yet you comfort me when I'm feeling bad about myself.
The little words you say to me make feel better so easily, sometimes I don't even need to tell you I'm upset before you've already brought my mood back up.
I'm not sure if it's possible to really 'change' a person (I know I've used that word in a way that'd contradict to this); but it's possible to make them better, or worse.
And you've really made me better. You're teaching me how to love like this. And even though I can be rather hard-headed and lazy to learn, I'm finding my way to express how I feel.
It's mainly because of you, and it is for you.
I and you are the only ones who can teach me to be good enough for you.
I'm clumsy with my words, and I've done and said things I regret.
I'm easily too rough, and I don't always get hints people try to give me.
I'm far from a truly good person. I'm even fraudulent sometimes.
I'm selfish, and I'm lazy. I'm not the smartest person out there.
I'm average and boring, inside and outside.
Even if I try to be better. Even though I've always tried to avoid doing anything that'd cause negative feelings in you.
I'm trying to be better, but I'm still far from the person you'd deserve to have in your life. But because you chose me and you accept my love, I am yours.
And I'll be, for as long as you want me to be. For even longer.
I wish I could show you all my feelings and tell all my thoughts, but I can't. Not yet. But I'm sure the day'll come I'm ready to tell you everything.
...just bear me 'til then.
I never knew I'd actually fall in love with someone. I didn't even care about having someone to love. I laughed at couples, and them being all over each others' annoyed me. I didn't believe having a relationship with someone who's far far away would be worth it. I didn't know feeling so much for someone would be really that great. I thought dreaming about stuff relevant to relationships and future with those was just plain stupid.
I was afraid of the possibility of feeling like that for someone.
Now I know better. And, I have to admit, I'm still a little scared. This is all still so new to me, and at moments, I find myself wondering if this really is true. What have I done to deserve something this amazing?
I know I seem like a fool to some, just like some other people seemed like to me before. Sometimes my own thoughts make me think of myself as a fool too, but people really can't help it when they have their dreams.
I wish we share the same dreams, and I really wish the Fortune is kind enough to make our dreams come true.
I love you
- Ivan
it's *MrPrinceAwesomeness for those who don't know
sdfgghff i think my heart just turned into a puddle of mush over this
omgeegus
you two are just beautiful together
agh this made me feel all sappy
prince i give you kudos for having the courage to do this
i'm happy danii liked this ywv ♥
Too sweet...
I think I got a mouth full of cavities from that.
The pure unfiltered sweetness...
deviantART muro drawing
that sounds almost like well-disguised sarcasm 'xD
That's why I added the picture. ;u;
"They're gonna think it's sarcasm. Hell it sounds like sarcasm even to me."
"I'll add a picture."
"God I hope they don't hate me. ;u;"
So yes it wasn't intended as sarcasm at all. ;u;
I'm just an idiot female with overly-sappy ovaries.
it's ok, i figured it isn't sarcasm even though it partly sounds like it is XD
couldn't resist pointing that out eve
Thank you for understanding~ XD
Sometimes making someone squirm a little can be fun indeed. There are reasons why I sometimes get the urge to go out, buy a jug and bleach, a shot glass, and select my cashier wisely.
Fun times.... <3
Also, HO SHT THANK YOU FOR THE WATCH.
I'm not great, at all, so I appreciate it.
I'll do my best to not fill your inbox with spam. ;u;